


Through the Death and the Heartbreak...

by Cheesy_Onions



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst served alongside angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence - Order 66, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Order 66, Tags updated with each chapter, Well happyish, With a side of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-11 06:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13518273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheesy_Onions/pseuds/Cheesy_Onions
Summary: ON HIATUS INDEFINITELY DUE TO MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you are wondering why Fives and Rabé are a thing, then all credit goes to @naberiie and @evaceratops for creating the awesome Arcmadien rarepair.  
> Link to Arcmadien AO3 series:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/881409  
> Link to Arcmadien Tumblr:  
> http://arcmaiden.tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is pretty heavy in angst so be warned. Hope you enjoy.  
> :D

19BBY – Coruscant Residential District 

 

Fives had spent the night in Rabé’s, no their, bed wrapped up in her arms and with the covers sprawled over them. He had spent the last couple of hours lying awake and just relaxing and had allowed himself to imagine that the night would last forever. But soon enough the first glimmers of sunlight stretched over the horizon and Fives was no longer able to pretend that he could stay here any longer. As much as didn't want to, he had to go. By this point, they were so used to being in and out of each other's lives that it didn't hurt quite as much when they were separated. It did still hurt going away on a mission though. Especially since there would be no personal comm usage and the mission would last an unspecified amount of time. But those were not new concepts and supposedly the war was coming to an end. Maybe then it could be just him, Rabé and the stars. Before that though he would do his duty to his fullest extent even though duty separates them. 

However all that involved getting out of a very warm and comfortable bed first. With a reluctant sigh, he eased himself out of her embrace and began to shower. Trying not to think about leaving, he instinctively showered in cold water to ensure he was awake and also because having heated showers on Venators was not an investment the GAR considered to be worth it for the clones. Besides in the field they would go without showers for days or even weeks. Apparently the 327th had gone 2 months without a shower once. And that is one reason why Fives is glad he is an ARC who commonly works with the 501st. The ARC missions were usually quite short if a little high on the danger side. The 501st missions usually never lasted more than a couple of weeks either. Only the big campaigns took longer. By this point the cold was beginning to get to him so he turned off the shower and began to get all of his stuff together. 

As he got into his blacks he noticed Rabé was awake and staring at him from beneath the covers. With a smile, she got up and moved to over to him. And once again he was fascinated by everything about her and found himself staring in wonder. She positioned herself behind him and simply rested against his back. For a minute they just stood there until Fives slowly began to move away and started to armour up. Rabé perched on the arm of a nearby chair and watched Fives with the same look he had given her earlier. She seemed to be savouring the view and it still gave him a weird feeling to think that someone would view him like that. It was a pleasant feeling. Once he was completely clad in armour except for his helmet, he looked back and found her still staring at him. By this point, his snark had woken up and he couldn't resist it. 

“Like what you see?”

She rolled her eyes and replied “Of course I do”

Fives responded with a grin that couldn’t quite hide a slight blush. 

“You don’t know how long you will be away do you?" She asked even though she already knew the answer.

“No but it shouldn't take too long with Torrent leading the way” 

“I know but just... Just stay safe okay.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got Tup watching my back.” Fives said in a slightly forced joking tone. 

“No seriously. You know I worry.” 

“As do I” 

“But this time I’m not going to be in danger” Rabé pointed out.

Fives was about to respond with a joke but noticing that she did look worried, he decided against it. Instead he placed his helmet down and moved closer. He placed one arm around her waist and placed his other on her cheek. She leant her head into his hand and he slowly stroked her with his thumb. 

“Rabé” he murmured and then again slightly louder “Rabé listen”. 

As she looked into his eyes, Fives began. “I don’t know which stars we've fallen from to meet each other but I would not change a single thing. I would gladly go through hell and beyond just to see you smile. And I promise that no matter what happens at Ringo Vinda or elsewhere I will always come back to you. You are my star and you light up my world.” 

Before he could even take another breath, they fell into a passionate kiss and then another and another. When they split apart, slightly breathless, she looked directly into his eyes and said “Make sure you do”. 

With a glance at the clock, a grab of his helmet and one final smile Fives headed out the door ready for whatever fate would throw at him. 

 

A couple of weeks later – Coruscant Lower levels

No matter what he had thought, he was not ready for the crap that fate had thrown at him. 

“Come on Rabé, pick up” Fives murmured to himself as his speeder bike hurtled across Coruscant and towards the meeting point. Fives knew he was still drugged but time was running out and he had to convince Anakin and Rex of the threat. However he wasn’t stupid and he realised that the stars above him might be the last he would ever see. He had to tell Rabé... What? How? He had no clue but when the time came he would. Because he had to. He couldn't leave her without saying why.

As his comlink continued to fail to connect to hers he realised that he couldn’t directly contact her. Thank God. Wait no. That was definitely not good. Why could he not think straight? Oh yeah the kriffing drugs. Damn it. Damn that Kaminian bitch. Damn it all. Did it have to be him? Come on breathe. Breathe. Okay. Right. Yeah. Message for Rabé. He’d have to record something and then somehow get it to her. Here goes. 

“Rabé it’s me Fives. Although you probably know that already and you can probably tell anyway ugh. Right um I don’t know how to say this but if you are listening to this then everything has gone sideways. Like inter-galactically sideways. I know this will sound weird and I sound like I'm crazy. Not anymore than normal anyway. Heh. Right urrrr where was I? Oh yeah okay basically Tup is dead , I’ve gone ‘rogue’ and there is a plot to destroy the Jedi using the clones. We’ve got these chips in our head that can be used to control us and make us do whatever is wanted. Well not me, I have removed mine. But whatever you do, do not go directly against this threat. The chancellor is somehow involved and if something happened to you... through my fault... I’m going to try to convince General Skywalker but if that doesn’t work then I’m sorry for putting you through this pain. I wish it could be different. I love you my sunspot. From the moment we meet on that Alderaan mission to the moment I die, I’ve loved you. I always will. You are my sunspot and I am yours forever. I’m sorry it ended this way and I’ve treasured every moment we have been together. Goodbye. Rabé.” 

He clicked a button to end the recording and checked to make sure the message was saved. At least he would be able to say goodbye. Even if it was on a comlink. Why did it have to end this way? It might not though. No it wouldn't end like that. He would be able to convince Rex and Anakin and then the plot would be foiled and he would return to Rabé. With that motivation, he had a drive and something to aim for. He focused on one thing because he could stop the plot. All he had to do was make Anakin and Rex believe him. 

 

A couple of hours later – Coruscant Level 1325 

“YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME” Fives roared into anguish and desperation as his hopes of convincing Anakin and Rex vanished in a instant. Had he made a mistake coming here? Should he of just gone to Rabé? What was he going to do now? 

“Fives we are both listening to you, we only want to help” Rex pleaded in a attempt to calm him down.

“How do I know you’re not tricking me?” Fives stammered. “How do I know... it won’t be a trap?” he shouted out as the pressure of the last few days caught up to him and the drugs combined to fuel his paranoia. 

However at that exact moment the sound of gunship door hydraulics opening echoed throughout the warehouse, shortly followed by the sound of troopers disembarking the gunship.

“It is a trap” Fives murmured to himself. “You led them to me” he shouted with the pain of betrayal written on his face. 

“No listen, just calm down” Anakin tried.  
“Fives, we...” Rex began.

“YOU LED THEM TO ME” Fives bellowed at the top of his voice. 

“Stand down soldier. Stand down.” Fox commanded as Fox and half a dozen of his troops ran into the warehouse with their weapons drawn. 

In that moment Fives' training and self preservation kicked in. He fainted to his left as if going for the blasters on the crates and then rolled to his right. Barely a second after moving, a blaster bolt hit the ray shield and harmlessly ricocheted off towards the roof. With only a vague thought about the fact of the troops using lethal force, he took off and began to flee and blindly run. The close footsteps and shouts indicated that the Guard were in pursuit. Subconsciously, his brain recognised that some of those shouts were from Anakin and Rex who must of been let out of the shield. Maybe he could... No. He couldn't. They had betrayed and abandoned him. There was no one who he could trust. Except Rabé. She would trust him. But that would put her in even more danger. That was something he could not do. He would rather give his life a thousand times over than let something like that happen because of his screw ups. Kriff. He had failed badly with this. Now because of his failings, the Jedi would be destroyed by the clones they trusted and respected. Because of his failings, the future would be one without Jedi to protect the innocent. 

What had he done? 

Eventually Fives came to a platform and with a speeder on it. He could only hope there were keys in it or it was easy to hotwire as he decided that the speeder was his best choice. But in his mental state, he failed to notice a fuel line resting on the ground. With a twack, he smashed into the ground. With adrenaline running though his veins, he quickly scrambled back up and was about to continue running when he realised he had dropped his comlink which had his message for Rabé. As he snatched it off the ground it became apparent he had lost his lead on the others and they had caught up. The speeder was still too far away. 

He straightened up, Rex and Anakin took a step forward and Fox rounded a corner with a DC-17 blaster aimed. Rex and Anakin both tried to say something to calm him down, the troops slowly moved to surround him and Fox pulled the trigger. 

A blue flash filled Fives’ vision and his chest felt like it had been hit by a charging bantha. 

With a sense of foreboding, he slowly looked down at his chest and found a hole through his chest. The blaster shot had penetrated his armour on the right side of his chest and... and it was finally over. The nightmares...

Rex and Anakin were yelling his name and running towards him. But it was not them he saw. It was Rabé. Sitting on top of a crate like that time on board the Resolute when she was working on the guns of a ship. But here she was staring at him and smiling a smile that illuminated the whole world. As his legs gave way and he collapsed, Fives reached out and touched their freckle. The one they shared and he had painted a spot on his armour over it. To symbolise that no matter how for apart, they would always be together. 

Fives closed his eyes as he fell over the edge, off the platform, and smiled. The comlink fell on to the floor and he knew Rabé would get it. The stars would make sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was tough to write for a number of reasons but I have got it done. I'm excited to see what people think and whether I'm good at writing angst or not.  
> I will try to release the next chapter in a fortnight but I can't guarantee that I will.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um it has been 3 months since I originally started this fic and I want to say that I am so sorry. If you are still reading this story despite my lack of updates then I thank you so much. 
> 
> If you don't know why then I explained why here: https://cheesy-onions.tumblr.com/post/172054362358/im-back-hopefully-urrrrrmmmm-where-to-start
> 
> But anyway enjoy and as before this is Angst heavy so be warned.

The next day – Rabé’s apartment

 

She was awoken by an awful feeling that felt as if it was entwined around her neural pathways. Rabé couldn’t of said what it was. A Jedi would of said it was the force. A clone would of called it instinct or sixth sense. Either way it wasn't good. Something had happened. Something bad. She didn't know what was exactly wrong, but she could just feel the pain of something. Now that she thought about it, there was something going on with the Guard late last night. But she had been tired from paperwork ugh kriffing pointless paperwork and she just couldn’t be bothered. Besides if it had been really important or dangerous then she would of been informed of it by now. 

And yet the feeling was still there and it was still persistent as ever. The Guard were also still on high alert outside as well. A quick look at the news only told her that whatever was/is happening is being covered up. Normally Fives would be able to tell her what was going on but he's away. Wait. She didn’t know how it had taken her thing long but there was a small news post saying that the 501st had returned to Coruscant. But why hadn't Fives said anything to her. He’d usually tell her when they were on their way back. And even if they couldn't break comm silence, he would of come straight to her no matter how tired he was. Maybe he had been caught up with paperwork. No that wouldn't of happened, General Skywalker was notorious for not enforcing paperwork. 

Maybe he had been injured she wondered in horrified contemplation. The mere thought of it made her feel ill with worry. She couldn't think like that though. It'll be fine. Just a minor injury that Kix has made him stay in for. And due to whatever was going on out there, he was unable to send a message. Yes that was it. In a bit he'd turn up at her door with a stupid grin on his face and it would all be fine. Knowing him, he had just tripped up on something and given himself a concussion. 

As if on cue, there was a knock at her door. Fortunately, Rabé found she had gotten herself properly dressed without really thinking about it. Just in case someone else is there with Fives (or if it wasn't Fives). As she approached the door, the inexplicable dread grew in force and then it peaked as she opened it. It wasn't Fives on the other side. Rex and Anakin stood side by side with a solemn expression. No. 

“He’s been badly injured hasn’t he? It'll be fine though. I'm not going to let Kamino take him...” Rabé blurted out as she tried to stop herself from panicking. 

“Rabé” Anakin cut across her thoughts sharply but with a touch of softness. “He's not injured. He is... well... I... um...”

“Fives lost his life in service to the Republic. I’m sorry.” Rex said in a distant monotone voice in a way that showed he was trying to hold his emotions in. 

Whatever they said afterwards went unheard by Rabé. Rex's words echoed throughout her mind and she just froze. Nothing outside her head meant anything, all she could think was that he was gone. Fives was gone and she would never see him again. Would never listen to his jokes. Would never smell his scent again. Would never feel his body against her. They would never spend hours just being in each other’s company. He would never come through her door with a ridiculous grin on his face. He was gone. 

Distantly she could hear Rex and Anakin calling her name but she didn't react until Rex touched her arm. And she collapsed. Tears poured out and she cried and screamed in agony. 

“No. No. No. NOOO. Please no. Tell me this is a mistake. It can’t be true.” She sobbed and pleaded with them. The silence in the air told her that there was no mistake. He was gone. 

Rex and Anakin both clearly wanted to comfort her but they didn’t appear to know how. They also both appeared to be shaken by it. 

Eventually Rabé began to get her thoughts back together and asked the question “How? How did he...?” She couldn't say it but they understood her clearly enough.

“We can't. It’s classified. I wish I could but Chancellor's orders.” Anakin replied clearly uncomfortable. 

“But why? Is that it? I’m just told he’s dead and that’s it? I'm not even told what happened.” Rabé shouted out confused and angry. Not at them just at the GAR and the Chancellor for being so uptight and that they didn’t give a damn about the clones. Don’t give a damn about Fives. No matter what he did, he was nothing more than another number to them. 

“I'm sorry” Rex said and she knew that he truly meant it. 

“We should go” Anakin murmured, refusing to make eye contact. He then picked up a small box that Rabé hadn't noticed earlier and gave it to her. “His non-military possessions from the barracks” he said, a shadow of his normal self. 

She gladly took it and briefly a ghost of a smile touched her lips as she remembered the contents of the box. She knew that these would become nearly sacred to her. And they would at least make her laugh if nothing else. But the items were ultimately just relics of happiness and nothing would ever fill the hole in her heart that had been opened. 

As Anakin walked out the door and turned the corner, Rex seemed to be considering something. Making his mind up, he turned to Rabé and placed a comlink on the box that she is cradling. 

“Fives' comm” Rex stated. “Officially I shouldn't give this to you but he left a message for you.”. And with a final attempt at a smile he turned and followed his General. 

The instant that the door shut, she lost whatever composure she had and just cried and cried. When there were no more tears to cry she sank to the floor against the door. Surely it's just a nightmare she thought to herself trying to believe that it was true and she would wake up to him. But really she knew that it was real. 

For a second she saw Fives lying on the bed like a perfect dream. And then he faded away. 

 

A few seconds earlier – Somewhere on the Coruscant low levels

 

Everything was agony. He was lying down on some street and couldn't move. The pain was unbearable and he kept losing consciousness. He knew that soon he would permanently lose consciousness. And soon after he would die. 

On the other side of the street, he saw her. Sitting against a door with a glow like she was an angel. And then he faded into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhhhh. I did not plan that last bit but i just kinda wrote it so yeah. 
> 
> The next chapter is going to be here as soon as possible. Not sure when but I promise it won't be as long as between the first two chapters.
> 
> Edit: I'm going to try to get the next chapter for Monday (14th).
> 
> Edit 2: It's been a month since I said that and the next chapter is still not coming soon. The fic is currently indefinitely postponed due to mental health issues.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are wondering why Fives and Rabé are a thing, then all credit goes to @naberiie and @evaceratops for creating the awesome Arcmadien rarepair.  
> Link to Arcmadien AO3 series:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/881409  
> Link to Arcmadien Tumblr:  
> http://arcmaiden.tumblr.com


End file.
